my-diary-blog

New Season!

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:32:19 +0100

New semester of school has now finally started, but it's not the only new thing in my life. During this summer, my life had changed pretty much, and I bet that many of my friends have already noticed it.

Thank you to the wonderful AnimeCon, I met many people and they are really nice people! I always love making new friends! As well, I have kept up my strong and good relationship with my friends, that I have known for much longer. Though one of my friends became much more closer to me, that it passes the category ''Friendship''. What I have noticed, that is I have many great friends! But yet, I have noticed that some...are dissapointing me. I've noticed that some people try too damn much. And they THINK they get more with it, but the truth is, they loose.

The more they beg for attention, the less I give it. It's the fact. If they want my attention, they need to deserve it.

But enough of that! I'm getting ready for Tsukicon, that is around October. I'm meeting up with the awesome cosplay group I'm in, awesome! The group doesn't practically have a boss or anything, but I think we can do just fine without one! There isn't many of us, so most of us agreed that we'll decide stuff together. Plans, projects, cosplays...we all do it together, not just one person decides. It's smart, right?

My main cosplay this winter will most likely be Tyki Mikk from D.Gray-man! I will make more likely make different versions of it, but I have a strong feeling I'll like being Tyki. I can keep it in character, as long as I want that. I can go and goof off if I want it...just all about how I feel and what I feel like doing. I'd rather not take any orders, but I'm open for suggestions and advices. So please, I'm not taking any kind of bitching about that I can't keep it in character, because please understand that I'm pretty new with cosplaying and I'm not really all that familiar with Tyki. Besides, I'm doing it for fun too. I don't freaking care if I find a better Tyki or not, because I know I have done all I can for my outfit, even when I'm a busy person and I'm a rookie with these things. And I'm going there to have fun, hunt Lavi's and love them, and meet my friends all around Finland. Damn, I'm meeting up with so many people (My group not included). My very first con was Tsukicon 2008, so it's been year now!

But that was about it :) Have a nice day, y'all!

........just why?

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:37:36 +0100

Alright.....so, I'm updating here once more, but this isn't a happy blog like the last time...heh, weird, huh? Last blog was happy, and the one before that was kinda sad and about ranting....well, I'm kinda not here to rant this time...I'm here to tell that what the hell has happened to me during the weekend.

I had a huge fight with friend, well kinda....I was deeply hurt, but I don't want to discuss about it. I think I have ranted about it enough so I'll save you from it this time.

The thing here is that today, I was out for a walk. I was meeting a friend and he had to pay up because of our small bet, that I won. So I was walking back home from the park and mom saw me on her way. She picked me up. She was looking for my step father, Rami.

Most of you know that I hate Rami more than anything in this world. I don't usually hate, but he makes the anger burn inside me, but back to the subject. Rami and mom had fight ealier. and when he usually fights, he runs away. Korso is a small town next to where I live (I live in a suburb). It's usually full of bars, pizza shops and few super markets, and of course drunkards. Teenagers go there alot too, because there is 2 big schools, one high school and few kindergardens.

When there is a fight, Rami runs there to drink with his pals and angst about that how 'Somaya kicked him out with no good reason'. My ass...

So yeah she was looking for Rami from the bars and we finally found him. He was sitting there with a big glass of beer. Mom told me to hold on as she went up and walked to Rami. I just sat there waiting, until I heard horrible yelling and a slapping sound. Well I got up from my seat right away and walked to mom. I screamed from my throat that ''You faggot, don't you dare to touch my mother!!!''

Guess what he did?

HE THREW THE BEER GLASS AT ME

I'm partly fine. Got few glass pieces but they were big enough and not so deep so they were easily pulled out. I did get bruises and I got beer all over me. Then he just screamed ''Lesbian whore'' at me on front of anyone. ~~No, before you think, he has NO idea about my bisexuality.~~ Mom got furious as hell from that and tried to attack him, but let's thank the few men that held her down. Good lord she turned total berserk...she yelled after him that if he died tonight, she would be behind it.

Well we got home after that and I was shaking, and mom was furious, surprise surprise. Well the evening went nicely with me playing PS2 for a while, chatting with Deakie and other peeps, and sitting on comp of course.

Around 4:00am, I was lying on my bed with my comp closed and playing PS2 for a while, cuz I couldn't sleep.Then suddenly...I heard it. I could have sworrn my heart jumped on my throat. My mom screamed like a bloody murder. Like there was a ghost with a knife and ready to murder her. She screamed my name. She screamed that ''Frida, help me!!'' she cussed in arabic, I hardly knew what she said. I just recognized one word and it was ''Rat''

I could have sworn I saw white light go through my eyes when I heard that scream. I quickly jumped out from my bed and reached for my door, but at that second I was scared if I'd really see a ghost. Well I ran out from my room and there stood mom in pure shock, and...

MY STEP FATHER.

We locked the house from him and he still got inside. He was just calmly there and getting something from his pants that were on the living room. Mom started hitting him, weakly though, and question that how the fuck did he get in. After a while he started running away and yelled ''Whore'' at both of us.

What I did? I lost my temper.

I ran after him with a large winter shoe on my hands. And mom came after me, trying to stop me. I got enough from his tricks because I knew he had hit mom before I got out from my room. And I wanted to revenge him so bad. I couldn't contain my body nor actions anymore. I could say that I went crazy.

Well I stopped and mom went after, starting to hit him with a broom stick. I stood there for a while, I have no idea why...I stood there and watched, as in saying ''If you dare to hit her, I'm coming down to haunt you up myself''. Well he did something and I walked at them, and I hit him too and threw to shoe at him, but missed. (Darn my fucked up AIMING)

So he started running, but this time me and mom didn't chase him. He just flipped middle finger at us and yelled such insults that I'd rather not type here......they were really that bad.....I flipped my middle fingers at him duh and yelled gay whore right back. And we walked back to the house...after that mom took the car to chase him down. I was in the house for a while, but I heard a familiar scream from the distance and I went out to look for them. Mom was driving back.
The dipshit lied at us. He said that the door was open and he had no keys, but apperantly he had thrown the keys at mom. So we tried to look for him but we got tired and got back. Mom got few bruises and a glass stuck on her feet. I took the mission to pull it out and it was painful, but I managed to do it.

Nightmare....just....nightmare....I don't want to trouble anyone or ask for pity, but I know people will ask me about it, so I'm just gonna send the link to whoever asks Oh, and that dipshit was drunk as well. And in our house we can't stand drunk people. Like, wohoo.

Since dad died, I have gotten this huge...urge to protect mom. To protect people close to me. When I stepped out from that car earlier or ran after him with that shoe, I had no afraids....like if he hit me or stabbed me something. At that moment, I didn't give a fuck. Only thing that I was scared about was my mom. Only, my mom.

And that's the way it is. If someone says that I'm not strong or that I'm just pretending to care, that person can go fuck themself into the nearest lake and drown.

And there must be typing mistakes but I'm way too tired to check the grammar and spelling.

The REAL Summer Warmth~

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 20:05:50 +0100

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- I mean, good day :3

Oh, things have been SOOOOO much better now! Well, partly...xD Where should I begin? Well, I lost my net connection at house so my phone is now working as the net device, which is plugged into my comp so I'm getting a net from that! Yay! :3 *is obsessed with net and KNOWS it*

But the thing that sucks, and made me pretty scared..was when my computer was about to crash again. My computer means everything to me at the moment, well....not everything XD Jk, jk...but really, comp is important to me, and with that I keep connected to my dear people who don't live close :<

For some good news, eh? Well, I'm not single anymore 8D I gotta stop singing 'Single Ladie' *pouts*...but it's alright! At the moment, I'm REALLY happy and I feel so freaking lucky! Okay, so we are pretty random and pervy, but that makes us special~! Luv ya, Cookie~~~ <3

Cheesy, eh? xD I know, I know~! I'm pretty flexible from romantic, cheesy to pervert! xD IT'S A TALENT 8D

Summer plans? Well....I managed to run away from Egypt trip, so now I'm asking for a trip to Winnipeg for birthday present, since I only got a freaking game. I have to choose from there two; Winnipeg or Japan? WINNIPEG, DUH.

There is some drama going on with few friends...but I don't feel like talking 'bout that! I have other thing to focus on~

And I got new friends, which is awesome! YAY! I feel so happy! And I got other sunshine to keep me up~! <3

Have a nice day~

Summer Vacatioon whoo

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 16:23:09 +0100

Okay I know this comes bit late, cuz summer vacation started about two weeks ago xD I guess I should write something here, because there has been few things happening...with my friends and...well...in my head.

For one, my very good friend, Roadie is hurt. Because one of our friends has been lying to us...and now that friend flee'd away and that's why Roadie is pretty hurt at the moment. I can't stand watching it. I HATE to see my friends hurt. Absolutely hate it. Always when my friends tell me that ''I'm so lonely and no one is here for me''...the only thing that I want on that moment, is to GO to that person and keep her/him company and make the person laugh! I love making people laugh! I love see them smiles! I LOVE TO CHEER UP PEOPLE. Which is the main reason why I don't like angsting too much. I mean, I DO angst once in a while...but it's just fucking annoying if I get too negative and I just angst from small reasons or stuff. Yeah, I just realize that angsting makes others sad.

Sometimes I bear to listen people angsting, but when they do it ALL THE FRIGGIN TIME...it's getting fucking annoying. And when I try to help, I get yelled at.

Anypoo! No more cussing! Let's hear some other news, yay!

I have found a new side in my liking, and well...I got 2 crushes, which were bit...different from the ones I had in past. For now, I have only one, because I understand that it's wrong to have 2 ones. I somehow managed to get rid of the first one, but I don't feel like giving up the second one. I hope there is no problem in that, I really do. I know very well that it's practically impossible to get the feelings returned, because the person is my friend, but I don't really care~! I just like being close to the person, that's all! I just got bit shocked when my friend told me that it's rare, that when person are, like, married...that BOTH sides love eachothers...now that just made me scared. What if I fall in love someone in future and the person marries/dates me but doesn't love me back!? I'm that kind of a person, who HATES to making others uncomfortable.

I usually try my best to understand them and as one of my friends said, ''Everything is fine with you''

She is partly right. I don't like questioning people cuz that makes them uncomfortable. If person says that ''You're a good friend but I like her better'', I just nod and say 'I understand'. Hey, what do they want me to do, nag? I can't force myself onto someone and go like ''WHY AREN'T I YOUR BEST FRIEND WHY??''. I'm not stupid. I put others first. Always.

There is a certain personality that I like. Person who is mature, but can be childish and funny at times. Person who can stay serious and UNDERSTAND things. Person who is willing to listen to me and is not always telling me stuff that she/he only likes. The person doesn't force stuff on me. Person who doesn't go and always angst on me. If the person sometimes feels bad, I'm willing to listen. And the person shares alot same interests with me, but still...we aren't 'identical'. The person likes something that I guess I dislike. I'm totally fine with that.

I'll fall for that kind of person...and I think I already did.

But yeah...that should be it! Waiting forward to animecon! ^-^

People Should Be More Careful

Fri, 08 May 2009 21:58:50 +0100

This day has been bit weird at me...it has been good and bad.

FIrst of all, I messed up my math test! It was so hard and when I got the paper, everything just flew out from my mind! I didn't know what to do! I tried my best and did what I could do and that's it!

The good thing that happened was that I went to movies! I went to watch Star Trek! That movie pwned!!

Yeah...but I had a fight with my friend and I'm really mad at her....so I won't write much today, sorry.

Swedish Test COMPLETE

Thu, 07 May 2009 16:54:52 +0100

Right! I finally got the Swedish test done! I'm n middle of a HORRIBLE week!! I have, like, 5 exams! Or...I have done 4 of them. One is still ahead; I have math TOMORROW. I need to study for it, damn! But Black Lagoon has gotten me obsessed D: I want to do ANYTHING else, but study! I want to take a nap, but my mom would kick me out of the bed and take the comp away! T~T

I'm really tired...and I'm waiting forward to tomorrow! It's Friday, and I'm off to the movies to watch ''Star Trek'' with my friends! WOOT!! That movie will probably inspire me alot 8D Waiting forward to it! And to talk to DomDom at the evening! :3 Curse time zones >.>

And I have damn much stress! I'm not sure if I'm gonna do Lulubell Cos or Kurogane first, because I'm not SUPER rich to get EVERYTHING. I have month to go till DesuCon!

The Site Is Created!

Wed, 06 May 2009 21:00:52 +0100

ZOMG! I actually did this! xD I have been wondering what would it be like to have a blog or something similar to diary (Because LiveJournal bores me) and I actually like this alot! I'm gonna change these sites tomorrow, because it's almost midnight and I'm sleepy! But tell me, what do you think? Like the site? Hate it?